Sign that the apocalypse is upon us #387

[slofstra]

Link: It started when one of the ladies spent 5 minutes unwrapping a candy

Whoops I see this has already been covered below. Anyway, here is video evidence for the diehard skeptic.

Incidentally, Ben Folds is a superb melodist. Our youngest daughter frequently plays his music on the upright in the living room, and I enjoy it immensely. Also, he's made a pretty good concert DVD with the Western Australia SO. Several of his songs were arranged for the orchestra by Perth based composers, and they have done a masterful job.

[living_stradivarius]

That's hilarious. Too bad they were up in the balcony.

[Corlyss_D]

Link: It started when one of the ladies spent 5 minutes unwrapping a candy

Whoops I see this has already been covered below. Anyway, here is video evidence for the diehard skeptic.

Incidentally, Ben Folds is a superb melodist. Our youngest daughter frequently plays his music on the upright in the living room, and I enjoy it immensely. Also, he's made a pretty good concert DVD with the Western Australia SO. Several of his songs were arranged for the orchestra by Perth based composers, and they have done a masterful job.

Leave this up because of the video link. They should have arrested the woman who failed to prepare her refreshments before the concert. I've had my share of run-ins with such inconsiderate people too. The managements put up signs telling people to turn off their cell phones. They should add a statement about unwrapping candies before the performance and during the intermission and people who fail to observe the rule will be ejected from the concert.

[slofstra]

I should add that there is actually no evidence that this was the case. I merely postulated it because it's the event that I would think most likely to lead to fisticuffs. My fantasy script:
Member of audience tries to unwrap a candy surreptitiously, drawing out the process to interminable lengths.
The patron in the row ahead suddenly turns around, grabs the candy, and snarls with clenched teeth, "Just unwrap this d* candy and get it over with."
She screams.
Her husband says, "the very nerve, what did you say to my wife?"
To defend her honour, husband threatens angry patron.
Fisticuffs ensue.

But perhaps it didn't happen in exactly THAT way.

[Lance]

Unbelievable to see something like this. Well, tempers sometimes run short, but concert manners have gone down the toilet, in my opinion. If nothing is ever said or done, it will continue. The candy wrapper issue is a big complaint of mine, too. People have little respect for others ... not everyone, but it only takes one bad apple, as the saying goes. I wonder why no charges were filed for the disruption caused?

[RebLem]

I remember once in the 1970's, going to a concert at Orchestra Hall, Chicago, to hear Giulini and the CSO do, among other things, the Brahms Sym. 1. The performance was so lovely and natural, I fell into a reverie and lost track of space and time. My eyes closed, my hearing was heightened, and I began to hear a rhythmic soft noise, a little like brushes being slid gently over a bass drum. "Oh, damn, the record has a scratch!" I thought.

Then, I awoke from my reverie and realized I was at a real live concert, dammit, and there shouldn't be any f***ing scratches. So I began discreetly examining my surroundings, and discovered after a minute or two that the woman sitting directly in front of me was filing her nails!

I did not create a scene. No one did. I just suffered in silence. But the next April, when I called in the pledge marathon to order that year's two LP "From the Archives" issue, I mentioned to the very nice woman at the other end of the line that I wanted to dedicate my pledge "to the woman who sat in front of me a few months ago at a Giulini concert filing her nails all through the second movement of the Brahms First."

The woman I talked to thought this was very important. She made sure she had the details, and then about an hour later, Norm Pellegrini said, "And we have a pledge from Robert Baker, who says he wants to dedicate his contribution to the woman who sat in front of him a few months ago filing her nails during a Brahms Symphony." Several others near him laughed, and one said, "I think I've sat near her on occasion, too!"

I have often wondered whether that woman was listening and heard it and recognized herself.

[TheFlayinDutchmn]

Then, I awoke from my reverie and realized I was at a real live concert, dammit, and there shouldn't be any f***ing scratches

haha, that's a great story. The worst I've had to sit through is tapping of feet etc. Oh, and not to mention the worst thing about living in Houston and its famed weight problem, every once in a while you’ll end up sitting near a person of weight, an order of magnitude greater than reason, now I’m not the most slender of people around, and don’t like to pass too much judgment, but If your breathing is loud enough to qualify as moderate conversation volume… well I don’t know what, but its not pleasant for your co concert goers.

Speaking of which, what do y’all generally reckon about concert etiquette? I’m always well intentioned, but get the impression I’m being inadvertently inconsiderate at times. Is it alright to bring a book for instance? Taking every precaution to not make noise when turning a page obviously.

Cheers,
nick

[Harold Tucker]

From Janelle Gelfand's Classical Music Blog for the the Cincinnati Enquirer

Snoring at the Symphony


Dear Miss Manners,

My husband and I attend the symphony Friday night -- it's only our second year here in Cincinnati -- and it was wonderful, mostly. I say mostly because seated nearby was an older gentleman who attended the concert by himself. The seats on either side of him were empty. After Deep Woods, he fell asleep! He had was breathing heavily for a while, but during some of the piano solos, he snored -- loudly. Clearly this bothered everyone around, and in particular the woman in front of him, who was visibly agitated. When it became clear that nothing was going to wake him, I reached across the empty chair and touched his arm. He seemed confused, but woke up. It was clear that he was disturbing a lot of people, and I thought, if it were me, I would hope someone would have woken me up. Is there some sort of actual symphony-etiquitte for dealing with this?? (He stayed awake through the Pastoral, thank goodness).

Catherine

Dear Catherine,

Generally, if the offender is a close relative, it's acceptable to give him (or her) a strong jab in the ribs. Given that you did not know the gentleman, I think that lightly touching his arm was appropriate. If it were me, I would absolutely want to know I was disturbing people around me. There's nothing that ruins a heavenly pianissimo more than a big snort.

Miss Manners asks, what do you think?

posted by Janelle Gelfand at 3:17 PM


A few years back my wife wrote to Miss Manners about a lady who sat next to us in the Music Hall gallery. During the concert she would reach into her purse,(snap) pull out a cheese sandwich, unwrap it, (crinkle crinkle crinkle) take a bite, wrap it back up (crinkle crinkle crinkle) and stick it back in her purse (snap). Five minutes later the process would be repeated. I realize that she might have been a diabetic trying to maintain her blood sugar, but it certainly was annoying and in violation of the rules of the venue.

[slofstra]

Here is a rather difficult one. I haven't seen this in our section lately, but we have had people come in with small portable oxygen canisters. These make a periodic pfft-pfft sound. I wouldn't dare to ever remark to anyone in that situation, but it is kind of a tricky one.

[Harold Tucker]

And there is the hearing aid emitting a high pitched squeal audible to everyone in the hall except the wearer. I have seen a conductor refuse to start a piece until the offender was found and the problem eliminated.