Jokes So Awful They Could Provoke You To Murder

dulcinea · Post by **dulcinea** » Mon Nov 16, 2009 9:10 pm

Abraham Lincoln once said:
If this is the kind of thing that you like, then this is the kind of thing that you WILL like!
Lincoln's reputation for wit is obviously a bit exaggerated.

In a LIFE magazine article about the US Presidents from GW to LBJ, there are two pages dedicated to the presidents who played golf. The last illustration is of Wilson, and it has this quote, which the publishers obviously thought was so hilarious that it could serve as the punchline to the pages about golfer presidents:
Golf is a game in which one endeavors to control a ball with implements ill adapted for the purpose.
It took me days to realise that that statement was intended to be a joke. Wilson obviously had no future as a stand-up comedian.

RebLem · Post by **RebLem** » Mon Nov 16, 2009 11:03 pm

About a week ago, Jay Leno told a good one. He was talking about President Obama's half brother having reported on their father's less than ideal treatment of him in his youth.

"Many people have brothers who are embarrassments," said Leno. "Jimmy Carter had Billy. Bill Clinton had Roger. And Jeb Bush has George!"

Post by **Corlyss_D** » Mon Nov 16, 2009 11:58 pm

Mostly puns.

dulcinea · Post by **dulcinea** » Tue Nov 17, 2009 1:33 am

RebLem wrote:About a week ago, Jay Leno told a good one. He was talking about President Obama's half brother having reported on their father's less than ideal treatment of him in his youth.

"Many people have brothers who are embarrassments," said Leno. "Jimmy Carter had Billy. Bill Clinton had Roger. And Jeb Bush has George!"

Leno is particularly guilty in this respect; 'tis very rare indeed for his opening monolog to have one good joke, let alone two (Carson was no better). His HEADLINES, on the other hand, are a laugh a minute; he really should discard the monolog and start his show with the headlines.

Wallingford · Post by **Wallingford** » Tue Nov 17, 2009 5:35 pm

Bad puns are all over.....on the boob-tube. You see them in nearly all ads, plus the news.

Wallingford · Post by **Wallingford** » Wed Nov 18, 2009 7:56 pm

....besides, the more children's joke books I see, the more I'm actually convinced of the real value of a good "bad" joke.

Guitarist · Post by **Guitarist** » Wed Nov 18, 2009 11:14 pm

dulcinea wrote: His HEADLINES, on the other hand, are a laugh a minute; he really should discard the monolog and start his show with the headlines.

I love that segment, too! In fact, he read something I submitted last year. (It was from a local pest control company that left a flyer on my doorknob. It listed the pests they can get rid of, including "panty pests"!)

RebLem · Post by **RebLem** » Thu Nov 19, 2009 1:12 pm

Told by a character on a West Wing rerun on Bravo just this morning:

Q. Why do French people have only one egg for breakfast?
A. Because in France, one egg is an oeuf.

dulcinea · Post by **dulcinea** » Thu Dec 17, 2009 6:55 pm

Here's an amusing--at least to me--anecdote about Taft as a golfer.
The 27th President was in no way one of the better presidential golfers; in fact he was an unquestionable duffer. During one particularly frustrating game, he became so exasperated that he threw the club away and screamed a F---!
The players with him were shocked speechless at this single instance of Taft saying profanities, given that he was a famously even tempered man who hardly ever got angry. This is as good an example as any of how that wicked game, golf, wears out the patience of even the most forbearing people.

Wallingford · Post by **Wallingford** » Thu Dec 17, 2009 10:45 pm

Q: What's the name of Bizet's ranch?
A: "La 'Lazy-N.'"

Post by **Corlyss_D** » Fri Dec 18, 2009 12:13 am

Madame · Post by **Madame** » Fri Dec 18, 2009 2:48 am

When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl.

.....

I am sick unto death of obscure English towns that exist seemingly for the sole accommodation of these so-called limerick writers -- and even sicker of their residents, all of whom suffer from physical deformities and spend their time dismembering relatives at fancy dress balls. --
Editor of the Limerick Times (Limerick, Ireland)

RebLem · Post by **RebLem** » Thu Dec 24, 2009 4:33 pm

Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic?
He sat up all night wondering if there was a Dog.

dulcinea · Post by **dulcinea** » Sun Jan 03, 2010 3:10 pm

The much missed Luis Vigoreaux, host of a game show in PR, once proposed to the audience that they submit the best jokes they knew. The proposal was a qualified success; it was a success in that the response was hugely enthusiastic, and qualified in that the jokes submitted amounted to a contest of who could submit the crummiest scuzziest most stinking jokes possible. As Vigoreaux himself put it: From what graveyards did they steal these dead bodies? These jokes were already old and rancid when my grandparents were children, and age has not improved them!

jack stowaway · Post by **jack stowaway** » Sun Jan 03, 2010 6:39 pm

Curious tourist to skipper of Irish scuba boat:

"Why do scuba divers always fall backwards to enter the water?"

"Because if they fell forwards they'd still be in the fokking boat!"

Dennis Spath · Post by **Dennis Spath** » Tue Jan 05, 2010 2:48 pm

I enjoyed the quip attributed to Molly Ivins regarding an unnamed Republican member of the U.S. House of Representatives: "If his IQ falls any lower we'll have to water him twice a day"....which is quite applicable today to Loopy Louis Gohmert, running unapposed since Tom DeLay engineered his 2003 redistricting gerrymander in the Texas Legislature.

HoustonDavid · Post by **HoustonDavid** » Tue Jan 05, 2010 3:36 pm

Once they pass the Health Care Bill, maybe the Democrats should take advantage of
their majority - one that no party is likely to have again anytime soon - to do some
reverse gerrymandering and redistribute the voter districts in their favor. Surely the
Republicans can't possibly object - it was their wise leader Tom DeLay who rigged
things in their favor a few years back. Of course, he was indicted for electioneering
fraud shortly thereafter, and had to resigned his Senate seat. The damage was done
however, slightly more important than the damage he did to ballroom dancing a few
months ago. Now THAT was a JOKE!!!

Dennis Spath · Post by **Dennis Spath** » Wed Jan 06, 2010 11:50 am

Unfortunately, Dave, the gerrymandering was done in Texas by their Republican Majority in the Texas House & Senate. Hopefully the Dems can take back control of the Texas Legislature in the 2010 Election Cycle. It's quite possible given the dirty laundry which will be made public during the Perry - Hutchison Primary battle for the Governorship. The Dems have been winning some closely contested policy issues with the help of a few moderate Republicans.

Dennis Spath · Post by **Dennis Spath** » Wed Jan 06, 2010 12:02 pm

Another groaner, requiring a vivid imagination, which I find quite hilarious.....Why do Elephants paint their toenails Red?"

"So they can hide in Cherry Trees!"

HoustonDavid · Post by **HoustonDavid** » Wed Jan 06, 2010 1:32 pm

Deleted by Author

HoustonDavid · Post by **HoustonDavid** » Wed Jan 06, 2010 1:38 pm

Dennis:

The Democrats also won - quite handily - the election for mayor of Houston, where I live,
which just happens to be the fourth largest metropolitan area in the United States. Only a few
years ago Anise Parker running as an openly gay Democrat candidate would have been a real JOKE!!
Her victory should give the two Republican candidates for Governor something to think about in
terms of voter thinkng. If our former mayor Bill White - also a Democrat - can boost his statewide
recognition even slightly, he will give them a run for their money for the governorship. He is a successful
former businessman and a Democrat, who won the popular vote twice and is widely considered one of
our most successful mayors, especially considering the difficult economic times of his administration.
This is still a "red" state (unfortunately) but us immigrants from other parts of the union keep pushing
the political spectrum. It would be an

of a JOKE if Texas turned a modest shade of pink much
less blue.

HoustonDavid · Post by **HoustonDavid** » Wed Jan 06, 2010 1:47 pm

Dennis:

I had obviously forgotten that gerrymandering is done at the state level - as it
should be - and Tom DeLay was only guilty of orchestrating the process from
his then-Senate seat. The circumstances of his indictment for electioneering
fraud had nothing to do with his interference with state politics.

RebLem · Post by **RebLem** » Tue Jan 19, 2010 6:28 pm

Q. Why did the Siamese twins move from Chicago to London?
A. So the other one could drive.

Daisy · Post by **Daisy** » Tue Jan 19, 2010 10:54 pm

RebLem wrote:Q. Why did the Siamese twins move from Chicago to London?
A. So the other one could drive.

That's hilarious.
Try this one...

Q. What happened to Helen Keller when she fell into a well?
A. She broke three fingers screaming for help.

Wallingford · Post by **Wallingford** » Tue Jan 19, 2010 11:40 pm

This one's REAL cruel:

Did you hear about the new music video starring Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles, Jose Feliciano and Andrea Bocelli?

It takes place on a tennis court, and it features them singing "Endless Love."

RebLem · Post by **RebLem** » Sun Apr 04, 2010 9:05 pm

An older couple, very devoted to each other, made a pact. The one who died first would call back after death to visit the other to discuss the real nature of the afterlife.

As it turned out, the husband died first. True to his word, he came back two months later. HIs wife asked him what he was doing. "In the morning, I wake up and have sex," he said. Then I eat breakfast, and then have sex two more times. Then I eat lunch, and after that I have sex three times over the next four hours. Then its dinner time. I have sex two more times after that, and then go to sleep. The next morning, it starts all over again."

His wife said, "Well, it sounds like you went to heaven."

"Not exactly," said the husband. "I was reincarnated as a rabbit."

jack stowaway · Post by **jack stowaway** » Mon Apr 05, 2010 2:49 am

This one is making the rounds on the internet....

Two golfers were playing a game when one steps up to putt the ball.

As he does so a funeral courtege passes on the nearby street. He stops, takes off his hat and stands respectfully until the courtege has passed before shaping up to take the putt.

His golf partner is mightily impressed by this show of respect and tells him so.

"I owed her that," his partner replies. "We were married for 35 years."

THEHORN · Post by **THEHORN** » Mon Apr 05, 2010 12:33 pm

The worse the pun, the better.

What's the favorite drink of frogs ? Croakacola.

How do you get a frog off your windshield ? Turn on the de-frogger.

The other day,Mick Jagger and one of the members of the Rolling Stones were mountain climbing in the Andes, and they were attacked and done in by a Condor.
This is the first time that two Stones have ever been killed with one bird.

How do you get down off an elephant ? You can't. Down comes off of ducks.

What happens when a frog is parked illegally? He gets toad away.

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb ? Fish !

A man entered a bar and noticed that two sirloin steaks were hanging on top of the ceiling. He asked the bartender why they were there.
The bartender told him that they were part of a contest. Any one who could
jump up and get the sirloins would get a deluxe meal at a fancy restaurant.
But whoever was unable to get them would have to pay for the dinner.
The bartender asked the man if he would like to try. But he declined, saying that the "steaks were too high".

Why did the lion cross the jungle ? To get to the other pride.

Why did the elephant cross the road ? It was the chicken's day off.

Groan........

Jean · Post by **Jean** » Mon Apr 05, 2010 1:19 pm

Q: How do you get a hankie to dance?
A: Put a little boogie in it

Wallingford · Post by **Wallingford** » Tue Apr 06, 2010 10:10 pm

Teacher said: "Hi diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle......Johnny, what do you suppose made the cow jump over the moon?"

Said Johnny: "Gosh, Teach, it couldn't have been the cat or the violin.....musta been the two diddles."

RebLem · Post by **RebLem** » Mon May 10, 2010 12:13 am

It is important for those of all faiths to recognize these Four Religious Truths:
1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's chosen people,
2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.,
3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian World.,
4. Baptists do not recognize each other at Hooters.

THEHORN · Post by **THEHORN** » Mon May 10, 2010 5:12 pm

What did one strawberry say to the other strawberry? "If you weren't so fresh, we wouldn't be in this jam!"

Did you hear about the four carpenters who all played the tuba? They started a group called the Tuba Four.

What do you call some one who crosses the ocean twice without bathing?
A dirty double-crosser.

What's the most popular ice cream in Baghdad? Iraqi Road.

Why did the English teacher get slapped by a woman? He ended a sentence with
a proposition.

Two goats were grazing around an old abandoned Hollywood studio. One of them found a film reel and ate it. The other goat asked how it was and he responded, "To tell the truth,the book was better".

absinthe · Post by **absinthe** » Tue May 11, 2010 12:11 pm

What do you call a man with no arms and legs who swims the Atlantic Ocean?

(a clever dick)

Why do policemen have bigger balls than firemen?

(because they sell more tickets)

Jean · Post by **Jean** » Tue May 11, 2010 12:21 pm

A Loan for Kermit

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday." Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says..."It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
............................................................................................

Answering Service At The Mental Institute

"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5, and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until someone comes on the line.

If you are dyslexic, press 6969696969.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.

If you have post-traumatic-stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.

If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you."

RebLem · Post by **RebLem** » Fri Dec 03, 2010 8:29 pm

How is a Republican different from both an optimist and a pessimist?

An optimist says the glass is half full. A pessimist says the glass is half empty. But a Republican says the glass is obviously twice as big as it needs to be.

dulcinea · Post by **dulcinea** » Sat Dec 04, 2010 5:40 am

dulcinea wrote:Abraham Lincoln once said:
If this is the kind of thing that you like, then this is the kind of thing that you WILL like!
Lincoln's reputation for wit is obviously a bit exaggerated.
In a LIFE magazine article about the US Presidents from GW to LBJ, there are two pages dedicated to the presidents who played golf. The last illustration is of Wilson, and it has this quote, which the publishers obviously thought was so hilarious that it could serve as the punchline to the pages about golfer presidents:
Golf is a game in which one endeavors to control a ball with implements ill adapted for the purpose.
It took me days to realise that that statement was intended to be a joke. Wilson obviously had no future as a stand-up comedian.

Curious as to whether TWW ever said anything really witty, I checked the Internet for quotes by Wilson. I found some rather clever ones--particularly the one about how every man who gets elected to high office in Washington, DC, either grows or swells--, but nothing genuinely funny; the closest was his mean-spirited snarl to Charles Evans Hughes about how his concession note was a little moth eaten by the time TWW received it.
Just as I said before: Wilson did not have the stuff to be a good stand-up comedian.

dulcinea · Post by **dulcinea** » Sat Dec 04, 2010 5:45 am

dulcinea wrote:Here's an amusing--at least to me--anecdote about Taft as a golfer.
The 27th President was in no way one of the better presidential golfers; in fact he was an unquestionable duffer. During one particularly frustrating game, he became so exasperated that he threw the club away and screamed a F---!
The players with him were shocked speechless at this single instance of Taft saying profanities, given that he was a famously even tempered man who hardly ever got angry. This is as good an example as any of how that wicked game, golf, wears out the patience of even the most forbearing people.

I wonder what would happen if HH the Pope tried his hand at golfing. I'll bet he would discover that he knows a language of curses and profanities that he didn't know he knew.

Mark Harwood · Post by **Mark Harwood** » Fri Dec 10, 2010 6:56 am

Sad news about the dyslexic who choked to death on his own Vimto.

dulcinea · Post by **dulcinea** » Fri Dec 10, 2010 10:45 pm

My sister, Maria the geriatric nurse, was practicing her validation, which means listening carefully to what the patient says and then repeating it accurately. She had the following dialog with her first patient:
Anna: I have difficulty sleeping.
Maria: You have difficulty sleeping.
Anna: It takes me forever to get sleepy.
Maria: It takes you forever to get sleepy.
Anna: When I do sleep, I often have nightmares.
Maria: When you do sleep, you often have nightmares.
Anna: And when I wake up, I don't feel refreshed.
Maria: And when you wake up, you don't feel refreshed.
Anna stared at my sister with a baffled expression, then smiled and said:
Anna: Dear, you and I have the same problem.
Maria: You and I have the same problem; what problem is that, Ma'am?
Anna: We are both deaf.

Jean · Post by **Jean** » Fri Dec 10, 2010 11:23 pm

(My apologies to all you fellas, but I do enjoy the occassional sexist joke

)

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday. "I'd love to be six again," she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he got her up brightand early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall ofFear everything there was! Wow! Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to a McDonald's they went, where her husband ordered her a Big Mac along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then, it was off to a movie - the latest sci-fi epic, and hot dogs, popcorn, Pepsi Cola and M&Ms. What a fabulous adventure! Finally, she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed. He leaned over and lovingly asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being six again?" One eye opened. "You idiot, I meant my dress size." The moral of this story is: If a woman speaks and a man is actually listening, he will still get it wrong.

..............................................................................................................................

(and...in the interest of equal opportunity....)

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the tiny town of Johnstown got up early and went to the local church. Before the service started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from the evil incarnate.
Soon everyone is evacuated from the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy is in his presence.

Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Hey! Don't you know who I am?"

The man replied, "Yep, sure do."

Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?"

"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.

Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"

The man calmly replied, "I've been married to your sister for 25 years."

living_stradivarius · Post by **living_stradivarius** » Sat Jan 01, 2011 2:21 am

when people say "see you next year" right before the new year

dulcinea · Post by **dulcinea** » Sat Jan 01, 2011 3:00 pm

A Spanish language cigarette ad with the Pep Boys:
Manny Rosenfeld: What do I smoke? Chu!
Moe Strauss: Only one cigarette for me: Chu!
Jack Jackson: I always, but always, smoke Chu!
A Chinese gentleman with long beard and moustache, mandarin coat and cap with feather, holding up this sign:
FUMAN CHU=THEY SMOKE CHU

dulcinea · Post by **dulcinea** » Wed Jan 18, 2012 9:20 pm

In the 50s Dave Berg drew a strip in which a man and his wife are in an steakhouse. The man is very hungry and complains a lot, so the wife feeds him bread rolls. He keeps complaining and his wife keeps feeding him bread rolls.
By the time the waiter arrives to take their order--SURPRISE!!!--the bloody fool is no longer hungry because all those bread rolls ruined his appetite.
Berg liked this n~on~eri'a=lameness so much that he used it again, merely changing the setting to a backyard barbeque and the cast to a father as the cook, the son as the whiner, and the mother as the saboteur of her son's appetite.
I remember many other similar n~on~eri'as that prove that the people of the 50s had a very lame sense of humour.
Which sandeces=monuments to stupidity do you remember that are as bad, if not worse, as Mr Berg's failed attempt at wit?

jbuck919 · Post by **jbuck919** » Wed Jan 18, 2012 11:02 pm

dulcinea wrote:In the 50s Dave Berg drew a strip in which a man and his wife are in an steakhouse. The man is very hungry and complains a lot, so the wife feeds him bread rolls. He keeps complaining and his wife keeps feeding him bread rolls.
By the time the waiter arrives to take their order--SURPRISE!!!--the bloody fool is no longer hungry because all those bread rolls ruined his appetite.
Berg liked this n~on~eri'a=lameness so much that he used it again, merely changing the setting to a backyard barbeque and the cast to a father as the cook, the son as the whiner, and the mother as the saboteur of her son's appetite.
I remember many other similar n~on~eri'as that prove that the people of the 50s had a very lame sense of humour.
Which sandeces=monuments to stupidity do you remember that are as bad, if not worse, as Mr Berg's failed attempt at wit?

I think what your examples illustrates is that most comic strips are unentertaining most of the time in any day and age, rather than that people of the 50s had no wit. Most comic strip writers are incapable of a worthy diversion seven days a week from the very beginning, but eventually even the greats--Charles Schulz, Berke Breathed, and Gary Trudeau come to mind--lose their edge. Schulz is especially apropos because his best strips were written in the 50s and 60s.

John F · Post by **John F** » Thu Jan 19, 2012 5:49 am

One of the great comic strips, especially in the '50s, was Walt Kelly's "Pogo," which could have a sharp political satirical edge. Kelly coined the phrase, "We have met the enemy and he is us." There were even campaigns to run Pogo Possum for President against Eisenhower and Stevenson: "I go Pogo!" When Kelly fell ill and died, his family continued the strip with his assistants, but while it looked the same the stories and dialogue had become bland and childish. Soon it stopped.

I've just learned from Wikipedia's article on "Pogo" (yes, the greatest encyclopedia in the world is back online) that in the years when he introduced political satire into the strip, he would also provide newspapers with alternate, inoffensive strips they could run instead.

Wikipedia wrote:Kelly's use of satire and politics often drew fire from those he was criticizing and their supporters. Due to complaints, a number of papers censored or dropped the strip altogether, while others moved it to the editorial page. When he started a controversial storyline, Kelly would usually create alternate, deliberately innocuous daily strips that papers could opt to run instead of the political ones for a given week. They are sometimes labeled "Special," or with a letter after the date, to denote that they were alternate offerings.

Kelly referred to these strips as "bunny strips," because more often than not he would populate the alternate strips with the least offensive material he could imagine—fluffy little bunnies telling safe, insipid jokes. (Nevertheless, many of the bunny strips are subtle reworkings of the theme of the replaced strip.) As if to drive home Kelly's point, some papers published both versions. Kelly would tell fans that if all they saw in Pogo were fluffy little bunnies, then their newspaper didn't believe they were capable of thinking for themselves—or didn't want them to.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pogo_%28comics%29

When Kelly was gone, "Pogo" became nothing but "bunny strips," and then it was gone too.

dulcinea · Post by **dulcinea** » Fri Jan 27, 2012 2:30 am

Particularly obnoxious offenders in the field of poor sense of humour are my relatives, practically all of which have not progressed from the level of childhood jokes that no grown person should ever have the bad taste to repeat.
Particularly annoying is my mother, Francisca, who has no discernment when it comes to judging jokes. She laughs at ANYTHING, even at a lame riddle such as
what is black and white and red all over?
I strongly suspect she does that just to annoy me.
What relatives do you have whose humour is so rotten that you would prefer to be disinherited by them rather than spend a single second listening to their groaners and angina provokers?

John F · Post by **John F** » Fri Jan 27, 2012 3:50 am

The only kind of humor that I dislike is insulting people in an "all in fun" context that forces them to laugh too, or be slammed for having no sense of humor. This seems to be a particularly American thing, from teasing to Don Rickles and those scripted celebrity roasts (both fortunately receding into the past). Otherwise, any kind of humor, no matter how lame, is OK with me - people who laugh easily are my kind of people, up to a point.

lennygoran · Post by **lennygoran** » Fri Jan 27, 2012 9:35 am

dulcinea wrote: what is black and white and red all over?

Good one--especially when the answer is a sunburnt penguin! Regards, Len

jbuck919 · Post by **jbuck919** » Fri Jan 27, 2012 4:04 pm

lennygoran wrote:
dulcinea wrote: what is black and white and red all over?
Good one--especially when the answer is a sunburnt penguin! Regards, Len

From the punk era:

Why did the punk rocker cross the road?

He was stapled to the chicken.

dulcinea · Post by **dulcinea** » Tue Jan 31, 2012 1:55 pm

Movie and TV critics regularly try to be wits, and, as John Cleese tells Pierce Brosnan in GOLDENEYE, they often are only half right.
Juan Gerard, the movie critic for EL MUNDO in PR--an oaf whose command of Spanish was so poor that it can be accurately said that he wrote in English using Spanish words--wrote of Jackie Gleason's THE STING II that it was designed to appeal to both the people who remembered the first movie and the people who had forgotten the first movie.
Anybody care to explain such an amazing oxymoron, which left me with an huge WTF???!!!

when I read it?
Since when do people willingly go to see sequels of movies they no longer remember???

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