Some Great Ways To Annoy A Conservative

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THEHORN
Posts: 2625
Joined: Sat Jun 14, 2008 8:57 am

Some Great Ways To Annoy A Conservative

Post by THEHORN » Tue Aug 16, 2011 6:13 pm

I found this the other day at a website called addictinginfo.org,and I like it very much Of course,conservatives won't.
But it's so unfashionable to be a liberal(which is not the same thing as being a left-winger) today. Liberals are like the late Rodney Dangerfield. They get no respect.

1, A socialist wrote the pledge of allegiance,2. Jesus healed the sick and helped the poor,for free.
3. Joseph McCarthy was an Un-American, witch-hunting sissy.4. Jefferson Davis and Robert E. Lee were traitors.
5.The South lost the Civil War.Get over it.6. The founding fathers were liberals.7.Fascism is a right-wing trait.
8. Sarah Palin is an ugly cow(said to conservative males). 9.The earth is round. 10. Reagan raised taxes eleven times
as President. 11. Reagan legalized abortion as governor of California. 12.Nixon created the Environmental
Protection Agency. 13. Ronald Reagan started gun control. 14. Global warming is real. 15. Republicans hate illegal
immigrants, unless they need their lawns mowed or their houses cleaned. 16. The military is a government-run
institution,so why do Republicans approve the defense budget ? 17. The Cold War is over and the Soviet Union Union
no longer exists. 18. Paying taxes is patriotic. 19. Republicans: funding the same old failed economic policies since 1880.
20. The Republican party began as the liberal party. 21. The President's full name is Barack Hussein Obama and he was born in the United States of America. 22.George W. Bush held hands with the king of Saudi Arabia.
23. President Obama saved the American auto industry, while the Republicans wanted to destroy it.
24. Hate is NOT a Christian virtue. 25. Jesus was a liberal. 26. Republicans spend more money than Democrats.
27. Tea parties are for little girls. 28. Public schools educate all children:Private schools are for indoctrinating
children. 29. The Constitution is the law; NOT the Bible. 30. Shariah law doesn't exist in America.
31. The President is NOT a Muslim. 32. Corporations are not people. People are people.
33. Fox News isn't real news. It's just a hateful racist and sexist propaganda machine.
34. The Federal Reserve was a Republican idea. 35. Women are equal citizens and deserve equal rights.
36. Women control their own bodies. 37. Abortion is a relevant medical procedure. Just ask Rick Santorum.
38. Please use spell check.39. It's PUNDIT, NOT "pundint". 40. Social Security is solvent until 2038.
41. Health care is a right, not a product. 42. Roe V. Wade was a bipartisan ruling made by a conservative-leaning
court. 43. GOP also stands for "Gross old perverts". 44. The donkey shouldn't be the Democratic mascot,
because the Republicans are the real jackasses. 45. Barack Obama ordered the killing of Osama Bin Laden.It took him two and a half years to do what Bush could not do in eight years. 47.Waterboarding IS torture.
48. 9/11 happened on George W. Bush's watch. Therefore he did not keep America safe.
49. America invaded Iraq for oil. Therefore, Iraq should be allowed to invade Texas to get it back.
50. Separation of church and state is in the Constitution. It's called the first amendment.
51. Muslims are protected by Constitution , as much as Christians.
52. Barack Obama is the first African-American President. Get over it. 53. The Oval Office is not a Whites Only
office. 54. America is a nation of immigrants. Therefore, we are ALL anchor babies. Republicans are just crybabies..
55. The white race isn't disappearing ; it's evolving. 56. God is a participle. 57. Evolution is real.
58. The earth is 4.54 billion years old, not 6,000. 59. The founding fathers did not free the slaves.
60. The revolution was not fought over slavery. 61. Paul Revere warned the Americans, not the British.
62. Federal law trumps state law. 63. The Civil War was about slavery,NOT state's rights.
64. Corporations are more about profits than they are about people.
65. Getting o0ut of a recession requires government spending. 66. Glenn Beck is a nut job.
67. Republicans: Paranoid since 1932. 68. Republicans don't want to pay for your birth control, but they
want you to pay for their Viagra.
69. Republicans NEED Viagra. 70. Fox News is owned by an Australian and has a Saudi prince as an investor.
71. Republicans complain about immigrants taking American jobs, then freely give American jobs to
foreigners overseas. 72. Republicans hate communism, so why do they refer to themselves as Red states?
73. Labor unions built this country. 74. Republicans hold America hostage as a political strategy. The temper
tantrum kind of strategy. 75. When Republicans see black, they attack.
76. Inside every Republican is a Klansman or Nazi waiting to be reborn.
77. Republicans only care about children BEFORE they are born.
78. Republicans are hypocrites. They're just too stupid to know.
79. The Christian right boycotts movies that have violence, and then promotes guns and insurrection.
80. I think, therefore I am NOT a Republican.
81. Republicans who oppose gay marriage are most likely to be in the closet themselves.
82. Churches should stay out of politics, or be taxed . 83 .people are too poor to vote Republican.
84. Democrats think for themselves. Republicans form think tanks to do it for them.
85. Republicans hate education because they couldn't hack it in school themselves.
86. A little socialism on the left is better than a little fascism on the right.
87. Greed is one of the seven deadly sins, and Republicans wallow in it.
88. The current corporate tax rate is the lowest in 60 years, so stop whining about it being too high.
89. Republicans : Anti gay marriage , pro lesbian sex.
90. Republicans : terrorizing the American people since 1981.
91. Republicans have their own terrorists. Just look up Timothy Mc Veigh.
92. Republicans love outsourcing . Just as k the Chinese communists.
93. The Republican's answer to the gulf oil spill was to apologize to BP, a foreign oil company.
94. The Democrats will be working hard to bring jobs to Americans,while the Republicans will be tea-bagging in the aisles.
95. Voter disenfranchisement is immoral and Un-American. That's why Republicans do it.
96. Republicans would let your hose burn down unless you pay them to do it.
97. Democrats want to take care of the sick. Republicans want to take their credit cards and deny them medical
attention.
98. Republicans say teachers are union thugs, and then proceed to rape and mug the entire middle class
on the behalf of corporations.
99. Republicans don't think that rape is a crime, but miscarriages are.
100. Republicans are idiots and arguing with them is a waste of time.
101. Bottom line ? If you want to anger a conservative, tell them the truth !

Take that conservatives everywhere ! ! ! !

THEHORN
Posts: 2625
Joined: Sat Jun 14, 2008 8:57 am

Re: Some Great Ways To Annoy A Conservative

Post by THEHORN » Tue Aug 16, 2011 6:16 pm

Oops ! That should read "Republicans think that rape is NOT a crime, but miscarriages are." Left one word out
accidentally.

Guitarist
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Re: Some Great Ways To Annoy A Conservative

Post by Guitarist » Tue Aug 16, 2011 9:01 pm

That's hilarious--thanks!

HoustonDavid
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Re: Some Great Ways To Annoy A Conservative

Post by HoustonDavid » Tue Aug 16, 2011 11:34 pm

My very near next-door neighbor (whom I am thinking about dating seriously), is a
Glenn Beck/Rush Limbaugh very conservative Republican; and we can talk about the
issues without drawing swords. What does that say about me, a life-long progressive
liberal Democrat?
"May You be born in interesting (maybe confusing?) times" - Chinese Proverb (or Curse)

living_stradivarius
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Re: Some Great Ways To Annoy A Conservative

Post by living_stradivarius » Wed Aug 17, 2011 12:15 am

HoustonDavid wrote:My very near next-door neighbor (whom I am thinking about dating seriously), is a
Glenn Beck/Rush Limbaugh very conservative Republican; and we can talk about the
issues without drawing swords. What does that say about me, a life-long progressive
liberal Democrat?
I'd like to see who wins :)
Image

RebLem
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Re: Some Great Ways To Annoy A Conservative

Post by RebLem » Wed Aug 17, 2011 3:02 am

OK, pay attention, Cosima J, this is where I get to be a moderate. I find many of the statements below grossly unfair and unwarranted. Its a long post, and I generally think it is thoughtful to have one line for each point instead of running so many of them together, which would make it longer, so, I am just going to delete the ones I agree with entirely.
THEHORN wrote:I found this the other day at a website called addictinginfo.org,and I like it very much Of course,conservatives won't. In my opinion, America no longer has conservatives in the public policy realm. That is why I eschew the word conservative: the last true conservative in American public life--one who opposes all change in the interest of stability, order, and predicatability unless absolutely necessary--was Supreme Court Associate Justice Potter Stewart, who began his service as a justice on 14 OCT 1958, retired from the court effective 3 JULY 1981, and died 7 DEC 1985. What we have now is right wing activists, many of them truly radical, and a smaller number actually revolutionary. That's not conservative.

But it's so unfashionable to be a liberal(which is not the same thing as being a left-winger) today. Liberals are like the late Rodney Dangerfield. They get no respect.

3. Joseph McCarthy was an Un-American, witch-hunting sissy. Not sure what a sissy is in this context. In the parlance of McCarthy's time, it was synonymous with homosexual. It is true that his counsel, Roy Cohn, was a homosexual, but I know of no evidence that McCarthy was. It is true that he was infertile, and that he and his wife indulged their desire to be parents by adopting a daughter, but I think it is beyond the pale to engage in gay bashing because being gay or not or infertile or not has nothing to do with the issues at hand. An un-American witch hunter? Yes.

4 Jefferson Davis and Robert E. Lee were traitors. A traitor is one who has been tried for treason in a court of law and been found guilty. Such was never the case with Messrs Davis and Lee. General Grant dealt with Lee and his men very compassionately at Appomattox because he, like Lincoln, was interested in binding up the nation's wounds. That's enough for me. I take my cue as to what to think of these two men from Grant and Lincoln. I reserve my ire for those unreconstructed knuckle draggers of today who continue to defend the Confederate cause, who refer to the Civil War variously as the War Between the States (the more genteel of them), and the War of Northern Agression (the real hard core racist O holes) and who still have the unmitigated gall to claim they are more patriotic than I. These scumsuckers need to be ground into the dirt. That's why I have responded by referring to the Civil War as The Great White Insurrection. The Civil War was a compromise term, which is totally lost on what seems to me the large majority of white Southerners today. They don't deserve our attempts to be conciliatory. They, in fact, interpret it as weakness, as preadators usually do.

5.The South lost the Civil War.Get over it. See above.

6. The founding fathers were liberals. Some were, but certainly not all. Alexander Hamilton, who, among other things, wanted a President for Life, was certainly no liberal.

7.Fascism is a right-wing trait. Actually, I agree with the spirit of this statement, but it needs elaboration. First of all, its not a trait, its a movement. Fascism, as I see it, has a number of hallmarks. It involves an attempt to develop a false identity of interest among a tripartite alliance of the state, business, and the working class. But Fascism needs an enemy, too. Often it is internal--in the case of Nazi Germany, it was Communists, union leaders, and, of course, Jews. In America, it is minorities with a sense of grievance by reason of minority status, whether they be black, Naitive American, Hispanic, immigrants, illegal immigrants, Hollywood, the media, whatever. America has had a number of Fascist movements in the past: the Know Nothings of the 19th century, McCarthyites of the 20th. Some would add Huey Long, but he left business out of the tripartite alliance, so it was not truly Fascist.

8. Sarah Palin is an ugly cow(said to conservative males). No, she isn't. She is a very attractive woman, physically. Spiritually ugly, yes.

9.The earth is round. Get real. No one is opposed to this.

20. The Republican party began as the liberal party. Not really. It replaced the Whig Party as the party of the propertied, non-slave owning industrial and mercantile class.

27. Tea parties are for little girls. They're also for queens of both kinds, and upper class folk and pretenders to that status.

28. Public schools educate all children:Private schools are for indoctrinating children. Oh, come on. Many public schools do a bad job of educating children, and, while there are a few private schools which indoctrinate into a particular social doctrine, or extreme religious doctrine, most do not.

32. Corporations are not people. People are people. Problem is, SCOTUS says they are, and that is the Law of the Land, much as you and I may disagree with it, as I do. I like a remark I heard from Jon Stewart (? ): Would you want your daughter to marry one? :wink:

36. Women control their own bodies. Unfortunately, they often do not, though they should, for a mutiplicty of reasons and in a multipliciy of ways too varied to detail here.

40. Social Security is solvent until 2038. And even after that, if nothing is done to shore it up or change the rules, they will still be able to pay out about 80% of the entitled benefits.

43. GOP also stands for "Gross old perverts". A myopic view. First of all, what is a pervert? Definitions differ, and I know of no evidence tha shows that GOPers are more prone to these weaknesses than Democrats. Republicants who claim otherwise--and they are legion--are damn fools. And you ought to know better, too.

44. The donkey shouldn't be the Democratic mascot, because the Republicans are the real jackasses. The donkey is the Democratic symbol because it symbolizes tenacity, which is, in many ways, a desirable quality. Whether or not it is still as accurate as it once was is another matter, open to debate.

49. America invaded Iraq for oil. Therefore, Iraq should be allowed to invade Texas to get it back. Needlessly provocative, and although it is intended as a joke, some disturbed people are likely to take the second sentence as your serious intention. This does us liberals no favors. And, besides, it wasn't over oil. Some day, I'll do a whole post about what it was about and why it was wrong, but dealing with it here would likely make this post nearly twice as long as it is, so I will leave it to another day.

63. The Civil War was about slavery, NOT state's rights. The irony here is that the idea that it was about slavery has become a pro-Northern idea, and that it was about states' rights is now a pro-Confederate idea. At the time, however, it was just the opposite: the alleged necessity of preserving slavery was mentioned 18 times in South Carolina's Declaration of Secession, and it was the Union side which maintained, at least at first, that the main goal was to preserve an undivided Union.

64. Corporations are more about profits than they are about people. A gross oversimplification and revelatory of some traits of many liberals which I abhor. First of all, it suggests there is something disgraceful about profit, and there is not. As a practical matter, it seems to me that current trends in corporate governance are too concerned with certain people rather than profits, as they should be. They are concerned with keeping top executives, especially the CEOs, CFOs, and COBs happy and flush by granting outrageously generous compensation packages at the expense, not only of the companies' lower rank employees, but at the expense of rank and file shareholder interests as well.

72. Republicans hate communism, so why do they refer to themselves as Red states? The habit of referring to Republican states as red and Democratic states as blue was a election night fiat of one of the broadcast networks, and the political parties simply meekly accepted the designations.

73. Labor unions built this country. Overstating the case, I am afraid. They had a significant and honorable role and ought to for many more years to come than GOPers would like, but the notion they did it all by their li'l ole lonesome selves is, uhmmm, hyperbolic, to say the least.

76. Inside every Republican is a Klansman or Nazi waiting to be reborn. EVERY? C'mon, get real.

78. Republicans are hypocrites. They're just too stupid to know. Too stupid to know what? Too stupid to know how to form a coherent sentence, perhaps?

80. I think, therefore I am NOT a Republican. They don't have to think. They have Grover Norquist, Frank Luntz, the Koch Brothers, the Heritage Foundation, the American Enterprise Institute, The Cato Institute, and tens of thousands of corporate lobbyists for that. That's why they want term limits. By the time you find out who is trustworthy and who is not, you are no longer useful to the corporate elite, and might get dangerous.

81. Republicans who oppose gay marriage are most likely to be in the closet themselves. I suspect there is some truth here, but that it is not really verifiable, and therefore the accusation ought to be avoided

82. Churches should stay out of politics, or be taxed. This seems to me a particularly dangerous doctrine. Many African American churches have been intensely political for a very long time. Are we to say it is to be allowed for African Americans, because historically the church was one of the few areas of human activity where black people were allowed (within certain limits in the more repressive parts of the country) to exhibit leadership qualities, and then say it is forbidden to white churches? Looks like a very dangerous doctrine to me, and ought to be avoided.

84. Democrats think for themselves. Republicans form think tanks to do it for them. The second sentence seems to me true. However, lots of Democrats follow one leader or another without much thought. This is certainly not a generally valid principle.

85. Republicans hate education because they couldn't hack it in school themselves. Do you have any statistical data to back this up? Seems highly doubtful to me.

91. Republicans have their own terrorists. Just look up Timothy Mc Veigh. Timothy McVeigh was a right-winger, it is true, but I have never seen any evidence he was a Republican, or that any Republicans sympathized with him. It is true, however, that they feed many of the regrressive attitudes that give people like McVeigh the feeling that their methods as well as their attitudes are widely admired.
Don't drink and drive. You might spill it.--J. Eugene Baker, aka my late father
"We're not generating enough angry white guys to stay in business for the long term."--Sen. Lindsey Graham, R-S. Carolina.
"Racism is America's Original Sin."--Francis Cardinal George, former Roman Catholic Archbishop of Chicago.

lennygoran
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Re: Some Great Ways To Annoy A Conservative

Post by lennygoran » Wed Aug 17, 2011 4:28 am

>82. Churches should stay out of politics, or be taxed. This seems to me a particularly dangerous doctrine. Many African American churches have been intensely political for a very long time. Are we to say it is to be allowed for African Americans, because historically the church was one of the few areas of human activity where black people were allowed (within certain limits in the more repressive parts of the country) to exhibit leadership qualities, and then say it is forbidden to white churches? Looks like a very dangerous doctrine to me, and ought to be avoided.<

You were doing okay up until this one! And they should have their property taxed just like everyone else! Regards, Len [agnostic] :)

Ricordanza
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Re: Some Great Ways To Annoy A Conservative

Post by Ricordanza » Wed Aug 17, 2011 5:49 am

HoustonDavid wrote:My very near next-door neighbor (whom I am thinking about dating seriously), is a
Glenn Beck/Rush Limbaugh very conservative Republican; and we can talk about the
issues without drawing swords. What does that say about me, a life-long progressive
liberal Democrat?
It says that your male instincts outweigh your political instincts. And I'm sure you're not alone in that.

HoustonDavid
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Re: Some Great Ways To Annoy A Conservative

Post by HoustonDavid » Wed Aug 17, 2011 11:13 am

Henry (Ricordanza), you are probably right; you also gave me a nice laugh to start
my day! :lol:
"May You be born in interesting (maybe confusing?) times" - Chinese Proverb (or Curse)

Cosima___J
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Re: Some Great Ways To Annoy A Conservative

Post by Cosima___J » Wed Aug 17, 2011 6:12 pm

Thank you Reb Lem for speaking up. Well done!

The list of ways to annoy a conservative sounds like the Jeff Foxworthy routine "you might be a redneck if....."

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