I changed my i pod name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
When chemist die, they barium.
A man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop ay time.
A girl said she knew me from a vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
How does Moses make his tea ? Hebrews it .
I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
Did you hear about the theatrical presewntation about puns? It's a play on words.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
They told me I had type A blood. But it was a type o.
Class trp to a coca-cola factory. Hope there's no pop quiz.
How did I get out of Iraq? Iran !
Need an ark ? I Noah guy.
Dd you hear about the cross eyed teacher who got fired ? She couldn't control her pupils .
How do you make holy water ? Boil the hell out of it !
What happens when you get a bladder infection ? Urine big trouble !
Broken penciles are pointless.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extrnsive vocabulary ? A thesaurus.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
Velcro - what a rip off !
Breaking news - all the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen.
Police have nothing to go on .
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough .
I saw a kidnapping today, but decided not to wake him up .
If a frog is parked illegally, will it be toad away ?
Some people say the government should stop making pennies. But that doesn't make any cents.
Cartoonist found dead in home . Details are sketchy .
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
Venison for dinner ? Oh deer !
Earthquake in Washington was all the government's fault .
Somebody just invented a machine to recover spices from the past. It's called a thyme machine .
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too .
I used to think I was indecisive , but now I'm not so sure .
