Jimmy Kimmel, in a black suit and blue tie, delivers a monologue onstage.“What he doesn’t realize is that I love this,” Jimmy Kimmel said of Donald Trump’s latest insults.
NYT
By Trish Bendix
March 19, 2024
They’re All Going to Laugh at You https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=an0l0osfNF0
During a Fox News appearance over the weekend, Donald Trump discussed Jimmy Kimmel’s jab at him during the Oscars. Trump expressed amazement that Kimmel had read Trump’s insulting posts about him on the air (“All he had to do was keep his mouth shut”). The ex-president also insisted that his posts had gone viral, not Kimmel’s on-air response to them: “Isn’t it past your jail time?”
“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised,” Kimmel said on Monday. “I mean, Donald Trump has said I’m not talented so many times, Eric is starting to get jealous.”
“What he doesn’t realize is that I love this. I love that this bothered him so much. I love that Fox picked a news guy nobody knows to interview him, and I especially love when he tries to spin the fact that everyone was laughing at him into a positive.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Barbie was laughing at you. Not only were they laughing at you on Oscar Sunday, there are now dozens of ‘Past Your Jail Time’ shirts for sale. There are mugs. There are tank tops. There is an ‘Isn’t It Past Your Jail Time’ backpack. People are writing it outside the Trump Hotel. There are billboards. There are billboards in Pennsylvania, in Florida, and there are a lot more to come.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“But if only I’d kept my mouth shut. Imagine him telling anyone they should’ve kept their mouth shut? I mean, that should be on his tombstone: ‘Should have kept his mouth shut.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Punchiest Punchlines (His Word Is His Bond Edition) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xcQaur0BHs
“Trump’s lawyers today told the court they can’t find anyone to put up the $454 million bond he needs to cover what he owes the state of New York. They say they approached around 30 bond companies and none of them would do business — gee, I wonder why.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“In his defense, how is a billionaire ever supposed to come up with half a billion dollars, you know?” — JIMMY FALLON
“Can you imagine that call? ‘Hi, we represent Donald Trump. We were wondering if you could — hello?’ I mean, who would have ever guessed that a hard-earned reputation for not paying your bills would make it difficult to get credit?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Trump is pretty desperate for the money. Right now, if you go on Airbnb, you can rent Trump Tower, Mar-a-Lago and Eric.” — JIMMY FALLON
“And what’s the problem, anyway? Didn’t you say Mar-a-Lago is worth at least $1.8 billion? Just get a reverse mortgage on that. I’m sure Tom Selleck could help you.” — JIMMY KIMMEL