Kind Hearts and Coronets (1949)
Five years before his birth, Louis Mazzini's aristocratic mother gets
herself thrown out of the D'Ascoyne family by marrying a poor Italian
tenor. His father's death throws Louis and his mother deeper into
poverty. On his mother's grave, Louis vows to avenge her
mistreatment by her own relatives.
For several years, the vow is no more than a fantasy, until one day a
young scion of the D'Ascoyne family walks into the draper's shop
where Louis works for two pounds a week, insults Louis, and
threatens to have him sacked. The fate of all the D'Ascoynes is now
sealed, as Louis decides to murder his way to the Duchy of Chalmont.
His victims are:
1.) Young Ascoyne D'Ascoyne. Louis cuts a mooring rope, sending
Ascoyne over a waterfall in a flimsy boat.
2.) Henry D'Ascoyne, an amateur photographer, blown up after Louis
substitutes petrol for paraffin in a darkroom lantern.
3.) The Reverend Lord Henry D'Ascoyne expires when Louis slips
poison into his wine.
4.) Lady Agatha D'Ascoyne, a suffragette, drops leaflets from a hot-
air balloon until Louis "Put an arrow into the air / She fell to earth in
Berkeley Square."
5.) General Lord Rufus D'Ascoyne, blown up by an explosive pot of
caviar, sent anonymously by Louis.
6/) Ethelred, Eigth Duke of Chalmont, killed with a point-blank
shotgun blast delivered by Louis.
To all the excitement, add two significant characters: Sibella, Louis's
childhood sweetheart; and Edith, the widow of Henry the
photographer. After Henry's death, Louis courts and eventually
wins the hand of Edith, while maintaining a long-standing dalliance
with Sibella, now married to Lionel, " the most boring man in
Europe." Ironically, within minutes of Louis's announcement of his
engagement to Edith, he is arrested for the murder of Lionel, who had
in fact committed suicide after the failure of his business. In prison,
the cunning Sibella offer Louis a deal: she'll produce Lionel's suicide
note if Louis will murder Edith and marry her.
All but the prison scenes are played in flashback, representing Louis's
memoirs, written during his long last night in prison. In the closing
sequence, Louis, acquitted on the strength of the suicide note, leaves
the prison, where he finds Edith waiting for him in one carriage and
Sibella in another. The Lady or the Tiger? Or in this case, Option C:
a reporter approaches Louis and requests his memoirs.
Only then does Louis remember that he has left his memoirs, which
amount to a full, signed confession, in his cell. The End.
Written by John Dighton and Robert Hamer
Directed by Robert Hamer
Cast:
Dennis Price.....Louis Mazzini/Mazzini Sr.
Valerie Hobson.....Edith
Joan Greenwood.....Sibella
Alec Guinness.....The D'Ascoyne Family
The plot is complex, but "Kind Hearts and Coronets" is not difficult or
confusing to watch. It is a stroke of genius on the part of all its
creators to make a film so rich, so detailed, so entertaining, and so
understandable. Indeed, it has been called "an unfaded masterpiece
and a prime example of British comedy at its cleverest."
But a black, black comedy it is. In addition to Louis's six murder
victims, others who join the choir invisible during the course of the
film include his father, who dies of shock upon his first glimpse of the
newborn Louis; his mother (run down by a trolley); Ethelred's wife
Mary and her twin sons (diphtheria epidemic); Young Ascoyne's lady
companion in the boat (drowns with Ascoyne); Admiral Lord Horatio
D'Ascoyne (goes down with his sinking ship a the result of his own
incompetence and obstinacy, thus generously saving Louis the trouble
of a seventh murder); Old Ascoyne D'Ascoyne, who suffers a stroke,
then dies of shock upon learning that he's inherited Ethelred's title;
Lionel, Sibella's boring husband (suicide); and several other
D'Ascoynes, unnamed, but methodically crossed off the family tree
Louis keeps hidden behind a watercolor of Castle Chalmont.
An article as least as long as this one could be written about Alec
Guinness's masterly sketches of the D'Ascoynes in what was only his
third film. His old men could pass for Obi Wan Kenobi's senile
uncles; his lady Agatha is a menace in drag; Ascoyne is an
insufferable young snob; while Henry, the photographer, is actually a
modest, likable fellow whom Louis kills reluctantly. Guiness
remarked "Somehow, I should have loved and hated them all. The
only one I really loved, though, was the old Vicar, and I did him best."
Guinness's exuberant D'Ascoynes make it easy to forget that Dennis
Price also played multiple roles as Louis, Louis's father, and also very
convincingly disguised as a country bishop.
My own favorite scene takes place in Henry and Edith's garden, when
the darkroom explodes. However, I've put enough "spoilers" in
already, and will let first-time "Kind Hearts and Coronets" viewers
discover this and hundreds of other treats on their own.
****+
