New Yorker Magazine today on getting kicked off Trump's " Truth Social " :
I’m just a regular law-abiding, fossil-fuel-loving American who wanted to join a social network to connect with my community. I thought the whole point of Truth Social was to be social, but, lo and behold, I got banned! I had no idea that the following posts would get me in so much trouble.
Send me your recs on where to get a booster shot!
It’s been hotter than usual this summer, no?
Does anyone know what hair products Ron DeSantis uses?
Is hurricane insurance worth looking into? Curious to hear what experiences people have had with it.
My crops are dying—is this a prank? If so, it’s super funny! (But also expensive. If you’re responsible, will you please stop?)
Person wearing a Make America Great Again hat posting on social media about their dying crops.
Does anyone have recommendations for how I should celebrate Juneteenth? So nice to have the day off!
Ice melts in hundred-and-six-degree weather, so a glacier would . . . You know what? I’m not a scientist.
Any idea where Hillary got that pink pants suit? My wife’s birthday is coming up.
Why is the coastline moving closer to me? Is it stalking me or something LOL? I mean, I’m sure it’s something Biden is doing.
The Republican Liz Cheney . . .
It’s nice to live close to the beach. But I’m not totally sure I want the beach to be, like, in my lawn. I’d prefer to keep that space open. (I’m a bit embarrassed to talk about it, but I’m on a lawn-bowling team.)
Sometimes I can’t tell the difference between bad news and fake news.
I know that Goofy Liz Warren was talking about rising sea levels, but could it maybe be the exception that proves the rule? I don’t want to sound like a conspiracy theorist, but the coastline used to be far away, and now I would classify it as “on the porch.”
My basement is underwater. I’m not complaining—I’m just saying.
Person wearing a Make America Great Again hat posting on social media about their flooding basement.
Diversity in movies isn’t that distracting. At the end of the day, I’ll watch anything that glorifies gun violence.
What’s really distracting is that my home is uninhabitable. Let me know if you have thoughts on where to sleep after the bedrooms get flooded—would love to connect with families with similar experiences?
Person wearing a Make America Great Again hat posting on social media from the roof of their flooded house.
Does anyone on this app teach swim lessons? Or is that more of a Parler thing?
I just got an e-mail that I’ve been permanently banned from Truth Social, but I’m still able to log in and post. Is that a glitch? Does this site even work?
Follow me on Twitter!
Some mirth
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jserraglio
- Posts: 11954
- Joined: Sun May 29, 2005 7:06 am
- Location: Cleveland, Ohio
Re: Some mirth
I loved that, Florida man makes announcement, p26. Sometimes the tabloids can be very clever indeed.
Re: Some mirth
President Obama scorches Herschel Walker, and it appears GOP does not trust Walker to be interviewed on his own, even on right-wing media, sends minders with him:
https://www.yahoo.com/news/obama-likens ... 00716.html
https://www.yahoo.com/news/obama-likens ... 00716.html
Re: Some mirth
Walker ain't gonna happen. You heard it first here.Rach3 wrote: ↑Sat Dec 03, 2022 10:08 amPresident Obama scorches Herschel Walker, and it appears GOP does not trust Walker to be interviewed on his own, even on right-wing media, sends minders with him:
https://www.yahoo.com/news/obama-likens ... 00716.html
Re: Some mirth
Seen on local TV weather forecast:
"Strong winds toady."
Guess the headline writer had a frog in her throat....
"Strong winds toady."
Guess the headline writer had a frog in her throat....
Re: Some mirth
World Shocked That Man Running Business Based On Imaginary Money Might Be Fraud
December 14, 2022
THE BAHAMAS (The Borowitz Report)—People around the world have been flabbergasted to learn that a man who created a business based on imaginary money might be a fraud.
In interviews spanning the globe, respondents expressed shock and disbelief that a firm offering customers wealth by turning their actual money into pretend money could be anything but legitimate.
“I’m still trying to wrap my head around this,” Johan, who is based in Sweden, said. “How could a business built on a foundation of nonexistent dollars somehow collapse?”
“I’m completely gobsmacked by the news,” Caitlyn, who lives in London, said. “Of all of the firms offering big returns on made-up money, this one seemed the most solid.”
Roger, who lives in Michigan, expressed concern about the broader implications of a company swimming in fictitious billions suddenly going bankrupt. “I just hope that one bad apple doesn’t wreck the entire fake-money industry,” he said.
December 14, 2022
THE BAHAMAS (The Borowitz Report)—People around the world have been flabbergasted to learn that a man who created a business based on imaginary money might be a fraud.
In interviews spanning the globe, respondents expressed shock and disbelief that a firm offering customers wealth by turning their actual money into pretend money could be anything but legitimate.
“I’m still trying to wrap my head around this,” Johan, who is based in Sweden, said. “How could a business built on a foundation of nonexistent dollars somehow collapse?”
“I’m completely gobsmacked by the news,” Caitlyn, who lives in London, said. “Of all of the firms offering big returns on made-up money, this one seemed the most solid.”
Roger, who lives in Michigan, expressed concern about the broader implications of a company swimming in fictitious billions suddenly going bankrupt. “I just hope that one bad apple doesn’t wreck the entire fake-money industry,” he said.
Re: Some mirth
Allegedly, when Hans Knappertsbusch was told Herbert Von Karajan conducted without scores and with his eyes closed, Knappettsbusch replied,”Well, that’s because he can’t read music.”
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jserraglio
- Posts: 11954
- Joined: Sun May 29, 2005 7:06 am
- Location: Cleveland, Ohio
Re: Some mirth
Best Australian Political Cartoons 2022 edited by Russ Radcliffe
David Pope, reimagining the invention of the outdoor dunny, with Pauline Hanson, Matt Canavan and Craig Kelly spouting all kinds of medieval conspiracy theories about why it won’t work and is a bad thing.
Last edited by jserraglio on Sat Feb 18, 2023 12:33 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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jserraglio
- Posts: 11954
- Joined: Sun May 29, 2005 7:06 am
- Location: Cleveland, Ohio
Re: Some mirth
Best Australian Political Cartoons 2022 edited by Russ Radcliffe
Megan Herbert’s “coathanger” cartoon, lambasting both the lack of effective US gun laws and the neutering of Roe v Wade, is among the most startling, powerful cartoons to have appeared all year; possibly for years, if not decades.
Last edited by jserraglio on Sat Feb 18, 2023 12:33 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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jserraglio
- Posts: 11954
- Joined: Sun May 29, 2005 7:06 am
- Location: Cleveland, Ohio
Re: Some mirth
Best Australian Political Cartoons 2022 edited by Russ Radcliffe
"Teat-for-tat, Vovchik!"
"Teat-for-tat, Vovchik!"Badiucao’s depiction of Putin suckling at the teat of Xi Jinping would get him locked up (or worse) if he published in Moscow or Beijing. It’s worth remembering that Australians are actually allowed to do this sort of thing, and it arguably underpins our very democratic traditions.
Re: Some mirth
I'm not sure "some mirth" is the right thread for these searing cartoons. They are very powerful, Joe.
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jserraglio
- Posts: 11954
- Joined: Sun May 29, 2005 7:06 am
- Location: Cleveland, Ohio
Re: Some mirth
Yes, but Megan Herbert's SCOTUS Coat Hanger/Shoot from the Bench cartoon (printed above) is drop-dead black humor.
I admire and envy the unbounded freedom in the work of certain Australian political cartoonists, even of those on the Right (see #2 below), and even if their 'humor' is not exactly mirthful.
By comparison, American cartoonists often seem constrained to pull their punches.
Tucker Carlson Has No Filter by Barry Blitt, The New Yorker.
Johannes Leak, The Australian. Best Australian Political Cartoons 2022 edited by Russ Radcliffe Lidia Thorpe’s revolutionary snarl, as she holds her Molotov cocktail and aerosol can (alongside Adam Bandt, flipping the bird to the viewer) is almost palpable.
Re: Some mirth
AUSTRALIA SAVES THE WORLD. Now that's real mirth, especially when it involves political extremism:
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jserraglio
- Posts: 11954
- Joined: Sun May 29, 2005 7:06 am
- Location: Cleveland, Ohio
Re: Some mirth
Then there is Australian cartoonist Cathy Wilcox, she actually has a sense of humor . . .
Re: Some mirth
This came in via an email from a teacher, but I am sceptical about its authenticity!! However, I did read outrageous answers to exam questions in my time all the same!!
The following questions were in last year's GED examination
(These are genuine answers).
Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head.
Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A. If you are buying a house, they will insist that you are well endowed.
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A. Premature death.
Q. What is artificial insemination?
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow.
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. The abdomen)?
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity.
The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie.
Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby.
Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section.'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome .
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.
Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport.
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
The following questions were in last year's GED examination
(These are genuine answers).
Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head.
Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A. If you are buying a house, they will insist that you are well endowed.
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A. Premature death.
Q. What is artificial insemination?
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow.
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. The abdomen)?
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity.
The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie.
Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby.
Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section.'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome .
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.
Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport.
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Re: Some mirth
Wonderful, Belle. Thank you.
Re: Some mirth
From New Yorker today, Lydia Tar on bean dip:
A riddle. That’s what this is. A question, asked not with words but with the grammar of cheese, refried beans, and sour cream. Asked not in anger—though the spices do quicken one’s heart rate—but in urgency. And what is that question? “Why?” Why risk blending these ingredients? Why fly so close to the sun? Why create a finger food that challenges the heavens?
That, and: “Why don’t you give me the recipe?”
That was a joke. Humor, much like the very food we’re discussing, provides comfort. Or so I’m told. But, then again . . . what is the recipe? Let’s find out. Let us, for a moment, cast ourselves as gastronomic Dantes and journey down the three scorching layers of this munchable inferno. And, yes, I anticipate your predictable criticism: Dante would scoff at my invoking his Inferno when this dip is decidedly Paradiso. But, as the only one here who actually visited the man’s birthplace the summer that I conducted the Florence Philharmonic, I think Alighieri would appreciate the irony. He did, after all, invent irony.
That was another joke.
We begin with the cheddar. Shredded, of course. We all know how Generation Z likes today’s music torn into the smallest possible TikTok-able morsels. Why should contemporary dairy be any different? But I digress. The cheddar itself is pedestrian. No different than what you’d find at your average gourmet cheesemonger’s shoppe. But then the refried beans arrive and make themselves known—and aggressively so, at that.
Now we’re discovering something. We’re explorers, and our pointy tortilla chip is a shovel. Or perhaps it’s a spear, foisted by Spartans bravely plunging into a melee of Breakstone’s and Goya. Stop smiling. It’s neither of those. The tortilla chip is the penis. Unless it’s a Tostitos Scoop, in which case it is the vagina.
Finally, the third layer. The exotic guacamole. Once a simple avocado. Inert. Waiting. It is only after it harmonizes with the beans and cheese that the guacamole reaches its fullest potential. It is only then that the guacamole becomes true.
And lest we think that these three layers have now locked us into a predictable waltz—one two three, one two three—make no mistake. This bean dip refuses to be thrust aside, dismissed as a simple recipe found on the Internet. New ingredients appear that firmly disrupt the tempo primo (forgive my bastardization). Suddenly, we discover a hot pepper, or, as I heard my tribal brethren call it when I was conducting my ethnographic study of Mesoamerican song, a jalapeño.
Next, a dash of Old El Paso taco seasoning, playfully introduced in defiance of the appetizer not being a taco. Or, I should say, not being our first-world conception of a taco, which I’m sure was created in a Madison Avenue skyscraper by men who’ve never journeyed west of the Hudson, let alone the Mississippi. Sad, really. They’ve never seen El Paso, yet they think they understand this dip.
Which brings us back to where we started: the riddle. What is the secret of this zesty appetizer? I must admit, I remain stumped. And I graduated Phi Beta Kappa from Harvard. I think that we’re not meant to know its mysteries. I think that we’re meant to stop thinking so critically about what we eat—or listen to—for one moment, and simply enjoy what we consume.
But not the pigs in a blanket. Those things are derivative trash. ♦
A riddle. That’s what this is. A question, asked not with words but with the grammar of cheese, refried beans, and sour cream. Asked not in anger—though the spices do quicken one’s heart rate—but in urgency. And what is that question? “Why?” Why risk blending these ingredients? Why fly so close to the sun? Why create a finger food that challenges the heavens?
That, and: “Why don’t you give me the recipe?”
That was a joke. Humor, much like the very food we’re discussing, provides comfort. Or so I’m told. But, then again . . . what is the recipe? Let’s find out. Let us, for a moment, cast ourselves as gastronomic Dantes and journey down the three scorching layers of this munchable inferno. And, yes, I anticipate your predictable criticism: Dante would scoff at my invoking his Inferno when this dip is decidedly Paradiso. But, as the only one here who actually visited the man’s birthplace the summer that I conducted the Florence Philharmonic, I think Alighieri would appreciate the irony. He did, after all, invent irony.
That was another joke.
We begin with the cheddar. Shredded, of course. We all know how Generation Z likes today’s music torn into the smallest possible TikTok-able morsels. Why should contemporary dairy be any different? But I digress. The cheddar itself is pedestrian. No different than what you’d find at your average gourmet cheesemonger’s shoppe. But then the refried beans arrive and make themselves known—and aggressively so, at that.
Now we’re discovering something. We’re explorers, and our pointy tortilla chip is a shovel. Or perhaps it’s a spear, foisted by Spartans bravely plunging into a melee of Breakstone’s and Goya. Stop smiling. It’s neither of those. The tortilla chip is the penis. Unless it’s a Tostitos Scoop, in which case it is the vagina.
Finally, the third layer. The exotic guacamole. Once a simple avocado. Inert. Waiting. It is only after it harmonizes with the beans and cheese that the guacamole reaches its fullest potential. It is only then that the guacamole becomes true.
And lest we think that these three layers have now locked us into a predictable waltz—one two three, one two three—make no mistake. This bean dip refuses to be thrust aside, dismissed as a simple recipe found on the Internet. New ingredients appear that firmly disrupt the tempo primo (forgive my bastardization). Suddenly, we discover a hot pepper, or, as I heard my tribal brethren call it when I was conducting my ethnographic study of Mesoamerican song, a jalapeño.
Next, a dash of Old El Paso taco seasoning, playfully introduced in defiance of the appetizer not being a taco. Or, I should say, not being our first-world conception of a taco, which I’m sure was created in a Madison Avenue skyscraper by men who’ve never journeyed west of the Hudson, let alone the Mississippi. Sad, really. They’ve never seen El Paso, yet they think they understand this dip.
Which brings us back to where we started: the riddle. What is the secret of this zesty appetizer? I must admit, I remain stumped. And I graduated Phi Beta Kappa from Harvard. I think that we’re not meant to know its mysteries. I think that we’re meant to stop thinking so critically about what we eat—or listen to—for one moment, and simply enjoy what we consume.
But not the pigs in a blanket. Those things are derivative trash. ♦
Re: Some mirth
I've just been reading a Wiki entry about the English theatre critic, Kenneth Tynan, and was struck by this funny anecdote about his wedding in the USA:
On 30 June 1967, before a New Jersey Justice of the Peace, Tynan married a six-month pregnant Halton, with Marlene Dietrich as witness. During the ceremony, Dietrich backed towards some doors to close them; the judge interrupted his oration, and without change in tone or pace said: "And do you, Kenneth, take Kathleen for your lawful-wedded—I wouldn't stand with your ass to an open door in this office, lady—wife to have and to hold?"
On 30 June 1967, before a New Jersey Justice of the Peace, Tynan married a six-month pregnant Halton, with Marlene Dietrich as witness. During the ceremony, Dietrich backed towards some doors to close them; the judge interrupted his oration, and without change in tone or pace said: "And do you, Kenneth, take Kathleen for your lawful-wedded—I wouldn't stand with your ass to an open door in this office, lady—wife to have and to hold?"
Re: Some mirth
Belle wrote: ↑Sat Mar 11, 2023 5:02 pmI've just been reading a Wiki entry about the English theatre critic, Kenneth Tynan, and was struck by this funny anecdote about his wedding in the USA:
On 30 June 1967, before a New Jersey Justice of the Peace, Tynan married a six-month pregnant Halton, with Marlene Dietrich as witness. During the ceremony, Dietrich backed towards some doors to close them; the judge interrupted his oration, and without change in tone or pace said: "And do you, Kenneth, take Kathleen for your lawful-wedded—I wouldn't stand with your ass to an open door in this office, lady—wife to have and to hold?"
Very dignified.Re: Some mirth
From former VP Mike Pence ( his writers, no doubt, but with his approval ) of all people at last night's DC Gridiron Dinner:
Pence started on a lighter note: "Sorry I was running a little late tonight. There were a few more boxes I needed to drop off at the National Archives."
"I read that some of those classified documents they found at Mar-a-Lago were actually stuck in the president’s Bible — which proves he absolutely had no idea they were there."
"It's true that I am a man of deep faith," Pence said. "In fact, my preferred pronouns are 'thou' and 'thine.'"
"I once invited President Trump to Bible study. That was an experience. He really liked the passages about the smiting and perishing of thine enemies. As he put it: 'Ya know, Mike, there’s some really good stuff in here!"
Pence took a shot at another '24 opponent — Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, "who has those everyman populist qualities that are so relatable ... like degrees from Harvard and Yale."
Pence started on a lighter note: "Sorry I was running a little late tonight. There were a few more boxes I needed to drop off at the National Archives."
"I read that some of those classified documents they found at Mar-a-Lago were actually stuck in the president’s Bible — which proves he absolutely had no idea they were there."
"It's true that I am a man of deep faith," Pence said. "In fact, my preferred pronouns are 'thou' and 'thine.'"
"I once invited President Trump to Bible study. That was an experience. He really liked the passages about the smiting and perishing of thine enemies. As he put it: 'Ya know, Mike, there’s some really good stuff in here!"
Pence took a shot at another '24 opponent — Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, "who has those everyman populist qualities that are so relatable ... like degrees from Harvard and Yale."
Re: Some mirth
Who's going to be a candidate in 2024, then?!! A good guy, Mike Pence.Rach3 wrote: ↑Sun Mar 12, 2023 9:25 amFrom former VP Mike Pence ( his writers, no doubt, but with his approval ) of all people at last night's DC Gridiron Dinner:
Pence started on a lighter note: "Sorry I was running a little late tonight. There were a few more boxes I needed to drop off at the National Archives."
"I read that some of those classified documents they found at Mar-a-Lago were actually stuck in the president’s Bible — which proves he absolutely had no idea they were there."
"It's true that I am a man of deep faith," Pence said. "In fact, my preferred pronouns are 'thou' and 'thine.'"
"I once invited President Trump to Bible study. That was an experience. He really liked the passages about the smiting and perishing of thine enemies. As he put it: 'Ya know, Mike, there’s some really good stuff in here!"
Pence took a shot at another '24 opponent — Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, "who has those everyman populist qualities that are so relatable ... like degrees from Harvard and Yale."
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lennygoran
- Posts: 19347
- Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2007 9:28 pm
- Location: new york city
Re: Some mirth
Chinese Spy Balloon Finds No Information at Fox News
March 13, 2023
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - A Chinese spy balloon hovered over the midtown Manhattan headquarters of Fox News for several days but found no information, Pentagon officials have confirmed.
The balloon, reportedly frustrated in its attempt to detect anything of a factual nature emanating from the cable news network’s home base, gave up its mission and went home.
A Pentagon spokesman defended the military’s decision not to shoot down the balloon over Fox. “Honestly, we couldn’t figure out why it was there,” he said.
Sources indicate that the Chinese President, Xi Jinping, is “furious” at the military leaders who sent the balloon to spy on Fox.
“This was a waste of a perfectly good balloon,” Xi reportedly shouted.
March 13, 2023
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - A Chinese spy balloon hovered over the midtown Manhattan headquarters of Fox News for several days but found no information, Pentagon officials have confirmed.
The balloon, reportedly frustrated in its attempt to detect anything of a factual nature emanating from the cable news network’s home base, gave up its mission and went home.
A Pentagon spokesman defended the military’s decision not to shoot down the balloon over Fox. “Honestly, we couldn’t figure out why it was there,” he said.
Sources indicate that the Chinese President, Xi Jinping, is “furious” at the military leaders who sent the balloon to spy on Fox.
“This was a waste of a perfectly good balloon,” Xi reportedly shouted.
Re: Some mirth
From AxiosPM today:
Former Rep. Pat Schroeder (D-Colo.), a pioneer for women’s and family rights, died last night at 82. A quote to remember... Asked by one congressman how she could be a mother of two small children and a House member at the same time, she replied: "I have a brain and a uterus. And I use both."
-------------------
DeSantis to Replace Disney World with “Dilbert” Theme Park
March 14, 2023
ORLANDO (The Borowitz Report)—Ron DeSantis has unveiled an ambitious plan to raze Disney World and replace it with a “Dilbert”-themed attraction.
The new theme park, tentatively called Dilbert World, will attract “millions of Americans deprived of their favorite comic strip by the left-wing media Reich,” the Florida governor said.
Calling the new tourist destination “a woke-free zone,” DeSantis promised, “Parents who go to Dilbert World can rest assured that their children will not be exposed to the vile multicultural propaganda that it’s a small world, after all.”
DeSantis was vague about what kind of rides might be featured in Dilbert World, saying only that “they will probably involve cubicles.”
Former Rep. Pat Schroeder (D-Colo.), a pioneer for women’s and family rights, died last night at 82. A quote to remember... Asked by one congressman how she could be a mother of two small children and a House member at the same time, she replied: "I have a brain and a uterus. And I use both."
-------------------
DeSantis to Replace Disney World with “Dilbert” Theme Park
March 14, 2023
ORLANDO (The Borowitz Report)—Ron DeSantis has unveiled an ambitious plan to raze Disney World and replace it with a “Dilbert”-themed attraction.
The new theme park, tentatively called Dilbert World, will attract “millions of Americans deprived of their favorite comic strip by the left-wing media Reich,” the Florida governor said.
Calling the new tourist destination “a woke-free zone,” DeSantis promised, “Parents who go to Dilbert World can rest assured that their children will not be exposed to the vile multicultural propaganda that it’s a small world, after all.”
DeSantis was vague about what kind of rides might be featured in Dilbert World, saying only that “they will probably involve cubicles.”
Re: Some mirth
Classic!! I'd go there just for those woke-free rides. Oh, wait....except if it was a woke ride at least somebody else would be paying for you to have the ride. But, on the other hand, somebody would need to be on the ground afterwards trying to explain to you why you felt so sick after having been taken for a ride!! I'm conflicted.Rach3 wrote: ↑Tue Mar 14, 2023 5:50 pmFrom AxiosPM today:
Former Rep. Pat Schroeder (D-Colo.), a pioneer for women’s and family rights, died last night at 82. A quote to remember... Asked by one congressman how she could be a mother of two small children and a House member at the same time, she replied: "I have a brain and a uterus. And I use both."
-------------------
DeSantis to Replace Disney World with “Dilbert” Theme Park
March 14, 2023
ORLANDO (The Borowitz Report)—Ron DeSantis has unveiled an ambitious plan to raze Disney World and replace it with a “Dilbert”-themed attraction.
The new theme park, tentatively called Dilbert World, will attract “millions of Americans deprived of their favorite comic strip by the left-wing media Reich,” the Florida governor said.
Calling the new tourist destination “a woke-free zone,” DeSantis promised, “Parents who go to Dilbert World can rest assured that their children will not be exposed to the vile multicultural propaganda that it’s a small world, after all.”
DeSantis was vague about what kind of rides might be featured in Dilbert World, saying only that “they will probably involve cubicles.”
I'm envisioning such rides as those proposed by Governor DiSantis: a herd of buffalos, moving around in a circle, all chanting and grunting together, pulled by a wheel; then there could be a book burning where everybody gets to set afire those that offend them with torches handed out with their cotton candy. After that a ride where participants get to throw stones at people if they think they're 'deplorable' (and if they didn't sign up for the buffalo ride!!); similar to that at the duck shoot. And the coup de grace: a giant roller coaster ride over 'fly-over country' where the patrons get to laugh, snigger, point fingers and throw buckets of cow manure onto those below. A consolation prize: a ride on a round pillory then off to the Gulag (a small box the size of the one from "Bridge on the River Kwai") via choo choo train, where you spend an hour in the hot sun, giving you time to reconsider your language.
I think Ron's onto something.
Re: Some mirth
Darwin Award nominees: https://www.cnn.com/2023/03/21/us/inmat ... index.html
Re: Some mirth
On McCarthy's recent "personal money " defense of Trump ( Carlson also said people pay others hush money all the time ):
"ORLANDO (The Borowitz Report)—Offering a vehement defense of Donald J. Trump, Representative Kevin McCarthy told reporters that the former President should not be indicted because “most if not almost all Americans” pay porn stars.
“What you use your personal money for is your own personal business,” the Speaker of the House said during a break at a G.O.P. retreat. “If you want to pay for a haircut, fine. If you want to pay for a car wash, also fine. And, if you want to pay a porn star, well, that’s fine, too, and pretty much every American does it.”
Asked if he had ever paid a porn star, McCarthy said, “You know what? I don’t think I have. But, because of the way George Soros has weaponized this prosecution against Donald Trump, I think I’m going to start paying porn stars to show my solidarity with an innocent man.”
Although McCarthy’s words drew support from many within the G.O.P., he received pushback from one prominent House Republican. “Only an idiot pays for porn,” said Representative Matt Gaetz."
"ORLANDO (The Borowitz Report)—Offering a vehement defense of Donald J. Trump, Representative Kevin McCarthy told reporters that the former President should not be indicted because “most if not almost all Americans” pay porn stars.
“What you use your personal money for is your own personal business,” the Speaker of the House said during a break at a G.O.P. retreat. “If you want to pay for a haircut, fine. If you want to pay for a car wash, also fine. And, if you want to pay a porn star, well, that’s fine, too, and pretty much every American does it.”
Asked if he had ever paid a porn star, McCarthy said, “You know what? I don’t think I have. But, because of the way George Soros has weaponized this prosecution against Donald Trump, I think I’m going to start paying porn stars to show my solidarity with an innocent man.”
Although McCarthy’s words drew support from many within the G.O.P., he received pushback from one prominent House Republican. “Only an idiot pays for porn,” said Representative Matt Gaetz."
Last edited by Rach3 on Wed Mar 22, 2023 7:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Some mirth
Carlson:
“In this case, you can believe whatever side you want to believe, but paying people not to talk about things ― hush money ― is ordinary in modern America.”
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/tucker-c ... 902d325e79
“In this case, you can believe whatever side you want to believe, but paying people not to talk about things ― hush money ― is ordinary in modern America.”
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/tucker-c ... 902d325e79
Re: Some mirth
Yikes!Rach3 wrote: ↑Wed Mar 22, 2023 4:16 pmCarlson:
“In this case, you can believe whatever side you want to believe, but paying people not to talk about things ― hush money ― is ordinary in modern America.”
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/tucker-c ... 902d325e79
Re: Some mirth
Animal love stories.
Goose finds a mate:
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nat ... 472362002/
From AxiosPm:
"The oldest animal at the Houston Zoo just became a father of three.
Mr. Pickles, a 90-year-old radiated tortoise, and his partner, Mrs. Pickles, 53, are now the parents of Dill, Gherkin and Jalapeño, Axios Houston's Shafaq Patel reports.
Why it matters: Mr. Pickles is the most genetically valuable radiated tortoise in the Association of Zoos and Aquariums' Species Survival Plan, making his offspring an important contribution to the future of this critically endangered species. Plus: They're adorable."
Goose finds a mate:
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nat ... 472362002/
From AxiosPm:
"The oldest animal at the Houston Zoo just became a father of three.
Mr. Pickles, a 90-year-old radiated tortoise, and his partner, Mrs. Pickles, 53, are now the parents of Dill, Gherkin and Jalapeño, Axios Houston's Shafaq Patel reports.
Why it matters: Mr. Pickles is the most genetically valuable radiated tortoise in the Association of Zoos and Aquariums' Species Survival Plan, making his offspring an important contribution to the future of this critically endangered species. Plus: They're adorable."
-
jserraglio
- Posts: 11954
- Joined: Sun May 29, 2005 7:06 am
- Location: Cleveland, Ohio
Re: Some mirth
Trump has just bought a 80-year -old giant Aldabra tortoise to put on display at Mar-a-Lago When asked why, he said he intends to outlive it.
Re: Some mirth
jserraglio wrote: ↑Fri Mar 24, 2023 2:55 amTrump has just bought a 80-year -old giant Aldabra tortoise to put on display at Mar-a-Lago When asked why, he said he intends to outlive it.
He and Rupert Murdoch.
Re: Some mirth
Succession, anybody?Rach3 wrote: ↑Fri Mar 24, 2023 8:57 amjserraglio wrote: ↑Fri Mar 24, 2023 2:55 amTrump has just bought a 80-year -old giant Aldabra tortoise to put on display at Mar-a-Lago When asked why, he said he intends to outlive it.
He and Rupert Murdoch.
Lock them up!
Re: Some mirth
Al Franken's brilliant political satire on Tik Tok hearings ; not to be missed:
https://www.yahoo.com/news/daily-show-g ... 52667.html
https://www.yahoo.com/news/daily-show-g ... 52667.html
Re: Some mirth
No comment necessary!Rach3 wrote: ↑Tue May 02, 2023 9:34 amA "review" of Tchaikovsky's 5th ; but, really,Tchaikovsky's 5th ???
https://tinyurl.com/2s4723y2
Re: Some mirth
MyPillow Guy Saving Up to Buy a Supreme Court Justice
By Andy Borowitz
May 9, 2023
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Mike Lindell, better known as the MyPillow Guy, has disclosed that he is saving up to buy a Supreme Court Justice.
“I’ve always wanted to own a Supreme Court Justice, but it seems like other guys have already snapped up the best ones,” he said. “I realized I’d better jump on this while there are still some left on the market.”
Lindell bemoaned the fact that Justices such as Clarence Thomas and Neil Gorsuch had already been purchased, but he acknowledged that they were “probably out of my price range anyway.”
“Since my pillow empire has been tanking, the most I can afford is a bargain-basement Supreme Court Justice in beat-up condition,” he said. “I’m gonna have to settle for Kavanaugh.”
By Andy Borowitz
May 9, 2023
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Mike Lindell, better known as the MyPillow Guy, has disclosed that he is saving up to buy a Supreme Court Justice.
“I’ve always wanted to own a Supreme Court Justice, but it seems like other guys have already snapped up the best ones,” he said. “I realized I’d better jump on this while there are still some left on the market.”
Lindell bemoaned the fact that Justices such as Clarence Thomas and Neil Gorsuch had already been purchased, but he acknowledged that they were “probably out of my price range anyway.”
“Since my pillow empire has been tanking, the most I can afford is a bargain-basement Supreme Court Justice in beat-up condition,” he said. “I’m gonna have to settle for Kavanaugh.”
Re: Some mirth
Love it. Cruel but fair!
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